Friday, May 23, 2014

Do you want AWESOME STUFF at garbage prices??? Well grab your undies!

The greatest garage sale to ever take place is about to happen This weekend! Saturday May 24th and Sunday May 25th from 8AM to 4PM we are selling so much sweet shit it's crazy! You may be asking yourself "What makes this garage or moving sale the greatest?" Well... Most items have NO SET PRICE! Make us an offer and walk away with some mind blowing stuff that will leave you wishing you had a bigger car to take all our crap! And by "crap" I mean some grade A premium shit that you'll LOVE! Just a few examples of the life altering awesomeness we are selling... Getting Married? Need some sweet ass bubbles and wedding supplies? GOT IT! Boyfriend hasn't proposed yet? Give him a sweet ass HINT and buy a FULL WEDDING DRESS and wear it home! Want to travel back in time and space? we can take you back with a 70's pachinko machine from Japan! Now that's got BALLS! Do you like drinking at your bar but are just getting too lazy to stand? STOOLS! a ginormous 25 inches will separate your ass from the floor! Fossil, Kennith Cole, Tommy Hilfiger... NAME BRAND PURSES YO! Do you hate the sun in your eyes but never have enough hats around? Do you look at your hats and wished you have ones with 90's soda logos that no longer exist, or businesses you've never heard of, or better yet great tv shows or movies.... Look no further! we've got hats for MONTHS! Want to look like you've been wearing that hat forever... we've got dirty ones along with all the clean new ones.... don't want it dirty? You just bought it from a garage sale, WASH IT for gods sake! Do you want to pretend you're on Mad Men? Don't like that show, fine... how about any other show were they sit at an awesome desk? BIG OFFICE DESK HERE! 0001011001111000101000101001010101. COMPUTER SOFTWARE AND GAMES! Need a way to keep your cold stuff cold and your frozen stuff frozen? REFRIGERATE IT! I will even sell you the shirt off my back... as long as you take it from the pile of mens shirts for sale and have me put it on. Do you have DVD's? Tired of storing them in a garbage bag like a hobo? DVD RACKS FOR REAL! Hate drinking your margaritas over the rocks like a savage? It's BLENDER time! Want to feel like you're French royalty? Then get a sweet ass ARMOIRE to put your tv and clothes in! Need to escape the zombie Apocalypse into the desert? Do it in style with a 2003 Polaris 2 stroke (because who needs 4 when you can do it in two) 250cc Trail Blazer ATV! Are you a woman? Do you wear clothes? Bummer... well since you do, we have clothes and shoes for you TOO! Do you love watching moving pictures but haven't invented the technology yet yourself? Well we have solved your problem by offering TV's! Wish you had a way to keeps your thoughts on a permanent form? WE'VE GOT PAPER! Do you hate your food all moist? DEHYDRATE that fruit fools! Have you ever wanted to be your own BOSS? Own your own pet tag and leash business that comes in a handy truck carrying case LIKE A BOSS! Drive to shows in style and sell out the back in this one of a kind professional pet tag and accessory's truck! KEEP THE CASH! (we will take visa/mastercard for the truck) Ever wanted a bar for your backyard, but haven't wanted the elements to mess with that fine purchase? Buy our backyard BAR and let the drinks flow knowing we have done the hard part of weathering it for you! We'll even throw in a FREE bottle of tequila to get you started (21 and older of course) Are you a nun or just into some crazy stuff? YARDSTICKS! Did 1990 call and say you need to play all your ps2 games again? PS2 HERE! Did your power just go out? CANDLES EVERYWHERE! Do you like to read or cook but don't know where to get your fix? COOK and regular BOOKS YALL! Do you love the rain but hate getting wet? Do you enjoy carrying a big stick? Our RAINSTICK will keep you dry and your enemies at bay! Do you love to collect collectable stuff? We've got all kinds of stuff that's been sitting in a closet collecting crazy value for you! TRANSFORMERS, SIMPSONS, BASEBALL BASKETBALL AND FOOTBALL CARDS, AND MORE! Do you love the snow but can't seem to figure out how to get down the hill? SKI BOOTS AND SKIS will help you break a leg yo! Do you NEED a Halloween prop or two? Do you hate all that new garbage you see in the stores and want some sweet ass scare stuff? WE'VE GOT THAT TOO! Want people to know you drink beer and want to show it in light form? Brighten that buzz with our BEER LIGHT SIGN! Do you wish you lived in 10th scale life? Now you can with tires and parts and more for your sweet ass axial or whatever RC truck. Plus hella more tires! Ok the candy is wearing off so I'll just post that we have tons of other AWESOME STUFF THAT YOU NEED! And speaking of candy... FREE CANDY! FOR REALS THOUGH.... REALLY THERE'S GOING TO BE FREE CANDY! Not the good stuff, I saved that for my diabetes. We will be accepting CASH or VISA/MASTERCARD If you show up early you may get stabbed.

No comments: