Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Scooper VS cat fights

Dear cats in my yard,

Lately you cats have been hanging out in our yard. I really don't mind too much because in my mind you are hunting mice and keeping them out of our house. You don't seem to bother the pugs too much, and you pretend to run away so I don't feel the need to pretend to protect my yard. Up until last week it was a relationship that worked for the both of us. For the last week I have noticed that you have had a friend over. Don't get me wrong, if you need someone to pack hunt with go for it. The problem I am having is that you two start to fight like bitches, particularly in the mornings. I should be more specific, in the early mornings next to our bathroom window. You two are loud as hell and I'm getting tired of it. At first I just thought you two were getting it on since I've seen you two chilling together like buds. But those sounds aren't of love but of pussy fighting. You two need to chill before I bring out my auto airsoft gun and put you to the curb. If this continues I will fortify my yard with duck tape on the tops of all the fences and sit guard watching to chase you out. If we have an understanding please let me know by shutting the hell up and placing a dead animal sacrifice (of your choice) on my bar outside as a gift.

Thank you,
The Scooper

P.S. I hate you both.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Letters to prison

For years now I have had a family member that has been in prison... surprisingly not my brother either. For many years I had no contact with this family member as he did threaten to harm other family members with an axe while on drugs. As the years passed by the hatred I had slowly went away and I decided to write him.

We now write back and forth occasionally... well he sadly writes me more often than I write him back. In fact I think in the last 6 months he's written 3 times, including a birthday card and I've written... oh none. In fact I should be writing him right now, but I'm blogging about writing to him instead... his letter is next. He always says he doesn't mind with my lack of replies, but then again who is he to complain.

Recently I found out that he is going to be spending a lot of quality alone time. Not through any real fault of his own, the "politics" as he says it get you doing things just to stay alive. That part really sucks, if I had to go to prison my plan would be to pass out and play possum... it just seems that is would be easier that way. At some point everyone from the top to the bottom is to blame a bit for what goes on in there but in the end it all boils down to... you just put a crap-load of criminals in a room all together, shit is going to happen.

Now that he will be getting some alone time... many many months of it, I realized I should get back to writing to him again. He only has a radio, so anything he gets to read will be great for him. I tried to send him lots of letters before copying our blogs and sends them to him but once I stopped updating it was hard to find a reason to write. Well the new plan is to start sending him random articles or stories I find on the net, along with a real letter here and there. Well wish me luck... although I guess it's more for him.

Monday, April 5, 2010

This blog about a Haunters Convention will suck... so suck it!

My wife and I are slightly into Halloween... well let me correct that statement, I am uber into Halloween and my wife puts up with it. She has grown to enjoy it but just not at the level that I do.

With that in mind we went to a Halloween Haunters Convention in Las Vegas last a couple years ago. It was pretty awesome and we got a few great ideas for our haunt there. We did also learn that after being in a huge area with so much blood and gore, as well as the smells and sounds, that taking breaks more often was a requirement to stay sane. The convention in Vegas was the first... and unfortunately the last on the west coast. We thought the only way we would be able to go to a convention again would be to travel all the way to the Midwest and east coast. Well we were wrong!

On Feb 22 I received an email informing us of a convention here on the west coast this year! Excitedly I opened the email to hear the trombone "wa wa" sound in my head. It's going to be the first annual convention being put on by a group who had never done a convention *** ***** ***** ***. The ***'s were put in to censor my rude joke. I then read on to learn that the convention was being held at a school for the deaf on Salem Oregon that puts on a professional haunted house every year. I would have just laughed it off but my love for Halloween got me to thinking... it's not that far of a drive, my wife could visit a friend or two, and the hotel near there was pretty cheap. So I thought I would keep an eye on how the convention planning played out.

This last weekend we decided that we would indeed attend the convention. I'm hoping it will be more one on one with professional haunters, and my wife is in it for the road trip. Although I've been keeping an eye on their website, I really haven't seen too much to lead me to believe that this convention will be all that great, but it's the best the west coast has to offer and I'm taking it. I emailed the person in charge to try and get a better idea of the workshops and did get an answer of sorts, still leading me to believe that this might not be that great. But I have faith that it will be the greatest convention I go to this year!

So what was the point of this blog... nothing, so suck it!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Chain emails are always true!

Every so often we all get an email warning us about viruses, or new email scams, or how terrorists are using our cell phones. Well I have been tired of getting these so I reply (usually to everyone because the person didn't know how to blind copy someone) to the email disproving the warning, and letting them know to be more careful about what they forward on to people. I also like to make sure that everyone gets the message so they don't continue to spread this spam.

Last December I got an email warning of the impending doom headed to our computers. I knew the person who sent it out because he had sent an email when he first started introducing himself. After getting this email I just couldn't help myself and I answered. After all the emails were done I thought about posting it for your enjoyment but then thought I needed to be pushed just a bit more to embarrass him. Well today as I am taking out the garbage who comes walking up my driveway... yep! He proceeds to hand me a flier and tell me that its only for people that have viruses on their computer. I couldn't believe he didn't stop and notice the cars with our name on them... I stopped in amazement, but before I replied I thought back to this email... instead of talking to him I turned around and came right to the computer... thanks Mark.... oh I mean BOB!

- The names in these emails have been charged to protect the ignorant -

from BOB
to The Scooper
date Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 1:40 PM
subject Computer Virus Alert From BOBs Computer Magic
This is for real.


You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,'regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the whole hard disc C drive of your computer.

This virus will be received from someone who has your
e-mail address on his/her contact list. That is the reason why you need to send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it!

If you receive a mail called' POSTCARD,' even if it is sent to you by a friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately. This is the worst virus announced by CNN.

It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.


- I now chose to reply to all -

from The Scooper
to BOB
cc Everyone
date Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 8:38 PM
subject Re: Computer Virus Alert From BOBs Computer Magic

You're a tad late on this "warning" since this started in 2007, and although there could be a virus out there... it's not the big bad unstoppable one that destroys your c drive. Check out this link for some real facts before sending more spam... You'll find that your email is on the page

Please take me off your list of people to email.

- He could have let it go but decided to reply again -

From BOB
to The Scooper
date Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 10:08 PM
subject Re: Computer Virus Alert From Marks Computer Magic

Then your an idiot. This just propagated yesterday morning you moron. Shut the hellup on the internet if your this young.

- I decided he might not have understood so I let him know. -

from The Scooper
to BOB
bbc Other people
date Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 12:31 PM
subject Re: Computer Virus Alert From BOBs Computer Magic

BOB, since you didn't want to read the truth, and instead attack me, lets take this one step at a time.

As a self proclaimed expert in your field, I would think that you would investigate every email or notice of a new threat before you sent it out to potential customers. I understand that your business relies on the fear of that next virus to infect the consumers computer, but sending out emails without doing any investigation seems either malicious or ignorant (your choice.)

If you are being malicious then there is no point for you to read any further, you have made up your mind about this. For someone who has such high standards on how they treat their customers and what they charge and says this on their website "This type of treatment violates my personal, religious and my ethical belief." I find it very disturbing that this is the tactic you employ to get more business. Good luck with that!

Now if you are still reading lets try and figure out why you think I'm an idiot, moron, and "your this young." Although because you are lacking in the grammar department I'm not sure what "your this young" is supposed to mean (although I'm sure you meant "you're" or "you are"), so we'll just move on. I used to work for Verisign as an engineer in the bay area so I'm not one of your "...local so-called "techs" or ill-knowledged, self-taught geek idiots out there who think they know what they are doing..." and although the company I started here is picking up dog waste, I assure you that I am not an idiot or moron. But I know you're (see it's like that, not "your") shaking your fist at your computer screen vehemently disagreeing with what I have just said. You are probably really mad at yourself for not doing your homework before sending out an email to everyone, without blind copying them, and having someone with any sort of knowledge reply back to everyone proving you wrong. Don't be so hard on yourself! Everyone makes mistakes, even if they are an expert in their field. Let's move on past name calling and get to the core issue.

You said "This just propagated yesterday morning..." that statement was false. I'm not sure who forwarded the email to you but I assure you that they didn't write it, nor did the person before. I'm glad you took the time to take all the "fw"s off the subject line, but it doesn't make it true or not spam. Your (see! that one is right!) email is seen word for word on this site and many others dating back to early last year. That's when the chain letter started and it was proven that CNN nor McAfee never said anything like what was claimed. I understand that you think the link I sent out might be fake (especially from they are not known for putting the truth out there) so I was going to start by sending you more links to dozens of other websites. I then realized that you might think I faked all of those so instead I'll let you do your own search. Go to Google (unless you think I got to them too) and do a search on "POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK" add in CNN if you want to make sure to see the letter you sent out specifically. Although your letter is on just about every website word for word.

Now BOB lets go over this one more time... Do your homework, don't Cc everyone (Bcc means blind carbon copy), don't email people who haven't emailed you before (I do understand the first email to announce your business but stop there!), don't reply back in anger without checking some facts first, and finally learn how to take a second to think before you write.

Fernley is such a small town and I didn't want this to turn into a "thing" but I don't appreciate spam, nor false information being sent out to fellow business owners and friends. I'm hoping you see the error of your ways and we can move past this.

Thanks for understanding!
The Scooper

Friday, March 26, 2010

Being cheesy IS as easy at it sounds.

So although most of the songs I come up with in my head while scooping aren't what most would call appropriate... I came up with this and decided to post it anyways!