Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Halloween kicked my ass!

As of today there are still skeletons up on the roof. They sit there waving and mocking my inability to have taken them down. One even hangs upside down... I want him to fall... I think he's flipping me off... I hate him the most.

http://themerrydrizzle.blogspot.com/ Melanie's blog was just voted best blog of the day... check it out!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Guerrilla warfare in the bushes

This is just a note to one of my customers.

Dear Charles,

I just wanted to let you know that there was an entire yard for you to utilize. I mean the yard is huge, there's the grass, dirt at the bottom of the hill, gravel, hell even the rocks around all the trees. With that in mind I just have to ask one question. Why do you feel the need to hide... no... camouflage your poo in bushes. Is it your way of wiping to back that ass up into the bush to do your business? What made you decide to hide your dirtiness? I am here to let you know that other dogs do it and you don't need to hide it anymore. What does it hurt you ask? I had to buy a special rake and your yard takes me twice as long. So I beg of you... please... no more steamers in the bushes.

Thanks,
The Scooper

Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Scooper VS being done in time for Halloween

What! Another post! Not really... I am so behind with Halloween that is not funny. All I have left is... lights, props, hidden sections, finish the graveyard, fog machines, exit, exit lighting, the potions room.... oh this just goes on and on... This weekend is my last weekend to get er done... gotta go!

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Scooper VS Newsprint deadlines

The castle has been finished! Over the last week Melanie and I have been working day and night to get the front of Frightmare Mansion completed. I had to empty the garage of all this wood I got for free off CL from a trade show booth. While I started to move things out I realized that some of the pieces could be used perfectly for the front facade. After spending the better part of Saturday building it Melanie and I painted it and it look awesome!Both sides have windows that are lit up at night with a couple scary guys in there. Wednesday night we got a call from one of the local newspapers saying they would be coming by Thursday to take pictures. As soon as Melanie hung up the phone I started listing out what needed to be completed so that the picture would be awesome... after staying up most of the night painting and making flags for the front Melanie was beat and while she was doing that I was busy fixing up the graveyard as the windstorm two days before had it's way with most of the decorations.

We finished everything I wanted just hours before the press showed up. They are going to run our story next Wednesday and then the week after as well! Now all I have to complete is the rest of the haunted house. D'oh!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Slave Labor and the Scooper

Earlier this week I had the daunting task of clearing out the garage. I needed to do this because I need to get the walls up as soon as possible but everything in the garage was a bit too much for me. Knowing this I called in the troops!My buddy Scott showed up first and right to work we went. I swear the garage was half full and within a hour it was starting to look like we could get the job done. Then my buddy Barney called (after flaking out on me over the weekend he was now ready to help) and headed over. We got the entire garage cleared out and I asked if they wanted to stay for pizza. After they both said yes I said "Good! I wanted help putting up this netting!" Although they did help me put it up in the end they also rebelled until I was able to provide them with tasty beverages.


Thats what I get! It looks great and now I'm off to start the walls!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Who's eating bacon?

I am so sore... with much help the Haunted House is on it's way... I will update everything tonight!

Friday, October 5, 2007

The truth has come out about our haunted house...

We know there have been rumors about our Haunted House. Some of the rumors going around are so far from the truth we have decided to set the record straight.

In 1896, Billy Smith was just 8 years old. Billy was sent to live with his Uncle, a rich and sinister man. Billy’s Uncle had a very big house with a very large staff. He even employed an unusual scientist to help make strange, some say evil, potions to help him make more money. No one was allowed in the scientist’s laboratory.

Billy’s curiosity eventually got the best of him and he entered the forbidden laboratory. While in there Billy came across a beautiful bottle with a label marked “For Billy.” Billy, of course knew it was meant for him, so he drank it.

Starting that night, Billy was tormented by not only nightmares but Billy described them as “Frightmares” because they were so horrific. Night after night Billy would dread going to sleep because he knew what awaited him…Frightmares.

About 5 years ago, we found Billy Smith’s diary at an estate sale and bought it. Billy’s diary contains all of the Frightmares that tortured him over the years and believe me, these are very scary indeed. We have used portions of his Frightmares in our Haunted House, which is why we call it Frightmare Mansion.

We don’t know why the scientist had the potion for Billy in his laboratory to drink. We don’t even know what became of Billy; his last entry was when Billy was just 12 years old. Since we purchased Billy’s diary we have had strange occurrences in our house. We believe that Billy’s ghost is roaming around at night in our graveyard pleased that we have used his diary for our own Frightmare Mansion.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Don't make me have to win a contest to get your bill paid

It's funny how someone that has not paid for six months or ever has the nerve to call after I talked to her in person and say that the bill is wrong. Add to the fact that we didn't even charge her any late fee's, oh well! Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to collections she goes. A radio station that I listen to (in Reno and Sacramento) is having a promotion called "pay my bill." They will pay any monthly bill amount (up to 3K) as long as you listen at 7:20am and if your name is called, you must call within 9 mins. It's pretty sweet, I should send in this lady's bill, then maybe we would get paid.

http://www.robarnieanddawn.com/newsite/index.html

This show is what I keep on my ipod for scooping. These guys are great!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

It's so on! Like Donkey Kong!


So for the last 4 hours I have been updating our new Halloween website and trying to get it submitted on the web to get us some traffic. 4 hours! It takes forever to do some of this crap! But an upside is Melanie made an AWESOME banner for the Halloween website in Adobe! I also posted a few ad's on CL as google seems to find the ad's before it finds the actual website. Starting tomorrow I will have a few people over and the process begins!

Friday, September 28, 2007

I heard him make the call to his wife and all he said was "the deed is done"

Thank god my wife has no need to plant things. Thats exactly what I said to my friend Scott while I helped him unload railroad ties from a truck. With that said lets start from the start....

I got a call from my friend Scott asking if I wanted to tag along while he went to get some windshield wiper replacements. I agreed and he picked me up. On the way back from the store he then mentioned that I was just recruited to go with him to pick up some railroad ties... D'oh! As I clawed at the door and windows in the car to escape, I heard him make the call to his wife and all he said was "the deed is done" I quickly unlocked the door but nothing happened... DAMN Childlock! I thought something was weird when he asked me to ride in the back seat! 20 mins later we were at our destination... not a hardware store or a lumber yard, but at the side of the highway at the railroad tracks. He and his accomplice met up and got out their whips and one pickax. I was then forced from the car and told to start removing ties and placing them in the truck. After loading the truck he said he was sorry and that he would take me home now so that I could clean my wounds from the whipping. Just as we were back at my house he turned and headed to his house. I tried to escape again... DAMN, why did I sit in the back seat again! After making me unload them all myself Scott and his accomplice finally set me free. Rubbing alcohol on open wounds feels fine right? Gotta go!

Halloween is just around the corner!

Melanie and I put on a Haunted House every year and this year will be better than ever because we will be open 2 days!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Diabolic plan #2491 has been formed

I am addicted to reno.craigslist.org! I have found that putting an ad in the pet's section doesn't really get us too much business, although its free, so I don't post there very often. However this week a new pooper scooper has been posting ad's every day. This doesn't really bother me because our prices are way lower (by 50%) but in one of their ad's they decided to post our name and saying we didn't do an area of town. That prompted us to start doing that area... I don't think they were happy about that... but when you push.

Diabolic plan #2491 has been formed and if pushed I will implement it with a force. It will be effectively taking any customers other scoopers have and giving them such a deal that they will switch to our service. But there are enough customers in the Reno area so without being provoked the plan stays on hold.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Websites VS The Scooper

Today I decided it was time to try and create a website for our Haunted House. Before today I have only made one website and it wasn't very good but it got the point across. Somehow I was able to create this new site in just one day, not only that it actually looks good! I will be filling the content throughout the week in preparation for October 1st!

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Scooper VS honeysuckle scented votive candles

Last night Melanie was invited to a "candle" party. I was called by my friend asking if I was coming, and my first answer was hell no! But then it sounded like we would be hanging out (all the guys) while the candle party was going on. As we arrived (late because I needed a shower after that amount of poop) I noticed that ALL the guys were sitting down and when I asked my friend for a tasty beverage, he said it would have to wait. WAIT? Dude, I came for a beverage and conversation not honeysuckle scented votive candles! No offense to those who put on those shows or those who enjoy them... it's not my thing... give me a show about Halloween props and Captain Morgan and I am in! I did finally get to enjoy a drink after hanging outside until the "party" ended.
They are so lucky that there were plenty of cookies!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

5D x 3M = TOS

So I had a first time job today that was a bit much. They have several dogs and had not cleaned up for a while. After 2 hours of cleaning I picked up bag after bag and tossed them. Then I decided to calculate out how much poo there was. 350 pounds of shit! 24 bags filled with the gooey stuff. Good times! Good Times!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

85 packs of coke in the car... 85 packs of coke... take one down....

I have seriously slacked on here... I will get to all the catchups on Friday but for now I will regail you with my story of how coke is great!

Don't break out the mirror, I'm talking about Coke a Cola, the greatest beverage ever. I recently switched to coke zero and since then my coke intake has been reduced greatly. If I am out of coke I can now go up to a week without it which for those of you who know me thats huge. On Tuesday on one of my regular bathroom stops while scooping, I noticed that Home Depot had a few pallets of coke, diet coke and coke zero. Since they do not normally carry the glourious beverage I decided to check out to see what the sale price might be. Much to my surprise is was $1.98 for a twelve pack! No tax, no crv, just $1.98! Now for those of you who don't know prices...
Scolaries (our only grocery store) sale price today 2 for $9 normal price $5.49 for 1
Walmart (where we usually shop due to price) today sale price $3.32 for 1 and the lowest has been $2.50 last year.
Great price right! So as I packed the Subaru with my bounty (not even using my total soda budget) I called a friend to tell him of the deal. As I finished packing and headed off to the next job my friend calls back from another Home Depot thanking me for telling him then asking if I used the coupon. Coupon I asked? So that store had $1.50 off coupons for coke zero making the twelve pack a mere $0.48. Making the soda's just $0.04 each, add the recycle fee of $0.05 per can I'll get back if I take them to California and I would be paid to drink coke! After scooping for the day I headed to that store with the intention of returning all the coke zero and re-buying it at this crazy price. After all coke zero is mostly what I bought. After waiting for more than a 1/2 hour and having one person at the store try and tell me there was a limit (of which I pointed out that they did not post that) then try and tell me that the coupons were for a later visit (which I pointed out to her that the coupons did not say that) and after much whining on their parts I got my money back for the difference. Think I saved some money? And Hell yeah I went back today to get some more. 85 twelve packs is the current number, 50 of which are coke zero. Tasty!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Pet sitting, watering and shit, oh my!

Seriously I have been so busy with all kind of crap I haven't even had time to go hang out at my favorite sign shop! I will have a juicy update tomorrow afternoon so thats something to look foward to!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

A side note, all the cheese has gone bad and is now smelling up the attic...

Diabolic plan #1172 has failed for the following reasons -

1 - I was unable to acquire a monkey that was smart enough
2 - The mini pig that he was supposed to ride is not "mini" enough
3 - Alarm codes were changed
4 - I couldn't find a big enough crane

For all those reasons the plan has failed. A side note, all the cheese has gone bad and is now smelling up the attic... questions are being asked. Killing her would raise bigger questions and would compromise several plans in operation. I will let her live. I guess I will put a fan up there or something, maybe one of those little pine thingys for the car.

The good news is now that diabolic plan #1172 is no longer on the books it lowers my status from Baleful to Nefarious. So thats a definite plus!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Did you open the garage door?

Last week as I was coming back home I left the garage door open. I did this because our neighbor was talking to me earlier and I said I would talk to him later. He was not outside but his garage was open so I thought I would keep ours open so if he wanted to talk to me he could come over and it didn't look like I came back home and ditched having to talk to him.

I forgot that I did that and apparently went to sleep. The next morning woke up headed to the garage to get something out of scooper1 and realized what I did. I asked Melanie just in case if she opened it in the morning. Nope, my bad! Lets go over everything that would have been gone had we not lived on our side of town or in San Jose.

Two buggys with keys in them
Two scooters with keys in them
Numerous collectible bar items
Oh this list just keeps going from big to small.

Oh and I left the inside garage door unlocked! Nice, now everytime I hear the house creak I think of that!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Scooper VS Craigslist Scammers

I have posted a few items on reno.craigslist.org (the best website ever!) and am so tired of all the lame scammers on there. I really need to find a way to fuck with them more than just leading them on for a while. Any ideas? The last guy (after I called him a Monkey Fucker) said that he was gunnin for me and would ruin me. I know that this is just a hallow threat but I would really like to be able to give him something back.... Hmmmm

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Case #btch463 has been closed

Just a whole bunch of shit headed my way... first time cleanups are crappy when people haven't cleaned up in months! I have come to understand that most people will lie about how long it's been... I ask why? I see it all the time, why would someone feel the need to say "it's been a few weeks" when it has obviously been a few months. I don't care at all... but with that said I understand that happens and have only been surprised a couple times with yards out of my imagination. Take case #btch463 - She calls on the weekend asking for service within an hour because she has a party coming over. I tell her that we are booked (well pet sitting and grocery's said so) and that I could come to her house on a scheduled day during the week. She then starts telling me how it is cleaned every week and would take her less than 15 minutes to clean it up and couldn't understand why I wouldn't just come over and do it. By the way she wanted weekly service as well and when I told her our price for 2 dogs she complained and said they only go in a small area like a kennel size and that it should be less than my one dog rate. Now there are a couple other pooper scoopers in Reno and they ALL charge more than us... both in weekly service and first time cleanups. But even with that in mind I tell her that if the space is indeed smaller I can give her a personalized quote. I have done this for a few customers so it's no problem but in the back of my mind I know this LADY is not being quite forthright.

Normal service day comes... I arrive exactly when I say I will... while we are walking to the back yard I ask where the kennel is... What kennel? while walking along the side of the house I say "the area where you said they only go"... you know that area where you told me they only go, I think to myself. Now she had the party on the weekend so I am thinking that someone having people over in the backyard would have cleaned up (since it would only take her 15 mins) and I am only there for a weekly quote. We turn the corner and the entire side of the yard (only on the rocks) is filled. It's been MONTHS! She did not clean for her party, no surprise, and the kennel sized area is more like 1/2 the yard. She tells me... "so it's just here, this tiny area" I turn to her and say... it's full price for weekly service. She then starts to explain that it only takes her 5 mins a week and why should it be so much. I'm sorry if I didn't start this business to make minimum wage and won't cleanup your yard for nothing. I tell her that the area is larger than she described and blah blah blah. While she thinks that over I then start to tell her about the first time cleanup charge starting at $25 (which most houses are about there... still half the price of other people) she then laughs and says yeah there's no way its going to be that much! I said to her that she misheard me and that it starts at $25 and then tell her that it shouldn't be more than $35. I then hear again "but this would only take me 15 mins" LIAR! It's months of shit mixed with rocks... even by hand (the quick and dirty way) it would take me a 45 minutes. I don't mess around with taking time either... I do our first time cleanups for cheap to get weekly customers, so I want in and out as quick as possible. Well I explain to her that because it is in rocks it will take a while and thats it... at this point I know she is not going to sign up for service and although she has me write up the "quote" I can hear he say in her head... but it would only take me 15 mins. There are very few of these people... and I hate them. Note - not one person like this has ever signed up. Although I did have one call me over month later saying "Fine I guess I will pay your price for the cleanup" quoting me the price I told them over a month ago... then telling me that my rates are too expensive for weekly service so they won't be signing up for that... then getting mad because I tell them I will have to quote them a new price because there is now more crap... then finally agreeing to it because they are having people over and they are having a bbq... it hurt me so much to put them on hold, then tell them I was completely booked. Booked like a fox! Well you get it... and if you don't... oh my this post is too damn long!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Scooper VS Nevada Highway Patrol

Yesterday I had to do some pet sitting across town and decided that instead of making it a boring drive I would spice it up a bit. Melanie suggested that I take a buggy ride to liven up the trip and thats exactly what I did! Most of the way to the first house I was able to keep off the road. I then came to a place where I was trying to find a good spot to cross over to a field when I looked in my mirror and saw flashing lights. When he didn't pass me when I pulled over all I could think was D'oh! Let's see...was I doing more than the speed limit...check! Did I decide not to bring my wallet with my licence...check! Was I swerving all over the road while I looked for a dirt path...check! He got out of his car walked up to me and started telling me that what I was driving was not highway legal and I should not be driving on the road... I informed him that I knew this and what I was doing... then he asked for my license...D'oh! After telling him that I didn't have anything on me because I didn't want to lose my wallet I thought I was done for. Nope... he said he wasn't going to write me a ticket then started asking about the buggy, I guess his wife wanted one. 15 minutes later I was on my way again! I did continue to drive on the road when I came back!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Like a red headed step child....

I have been beaten down with things to do and have not had a chance to post what I have been working on. I will get everything back up to date tomorrow. And whats that smell?

Friday, August 3, 2007

Hoff-Off 07 part one...

Don't hassle the Hoff! So Melanie and I were just watching America's Got Talent.. Damn you shitty programing! We were watching and after the first contestant Melanie said I could FF past the judges comments... but I wanted to hear from the Hoff. As a laughed at everything he said she sat there disgusted saying how she does not like him at all. We then started Hoff-Off 07, a debate of such magnitude that this would change the way life as we know it continues to exist.

My position - David Hasselhoff aka The Hoff
Hilarious to watch because he is so bad that anything he does is great!



Melanie's position - Hasslehoff is so fucking cheesy and i hate him...look at this example of cheese:



So thats where the line has been drawn. Now in my defense I am going to say that the Hoff of today is by far the best and back in the day I didn't care for him... minus Knight Rider of course! Now that he has become the Hoff and made such a comeback I can't help but love to watch him.
Seriously how can you not love how out there this guy is. He is so full of himself and feels his image is "the cool guy" you can't help but look at him and hear him speak without laughing! I mean aside from his brilliant acting carer, he is one of the best vocal artists I have listened to since Shatner. I mean the guy even loves dogs, how can you not love a guy like that?

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Earth VS Scooper

And the heat continues to beat down on me. It's already over 80 degrees out and I haven't even left for Reno to pooper scoop yet. This summer has been rough, its been steadily at 100 degrees for weeks now which makes it even harder to get out of the ac in the car. Time to think of a new plan to cool the earth......Hmmmm Diabolic plan #1866 has begun to form...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Watersports shouldn't be part of my day...


Well it's not the first time but I was peed on today... by a dog...sicko's! While driving around I sometimes come across the stray dog here and there. usually they run home, but this time I guess the little guy was a bit to tuckered out. As I went to pick him up he of course let loose and sprayed me. Great, it's 100 degrees and now I have a peed on shirt! Long story short after taking him to the vet to see if he was micro chipped (which he wasn't) I had to bring the little guy home. I then posted an ad online to see if anyone had lost him and promptly made signs to put up in town. In the ad and the sign I asked for a description of the collar, and gender of the dog. I was a little worried that someone that was not the owner might try and claim him... can you see why?

I aint afraid of no ghost...

Halloween is just around the corner and my wife Melanie and I have begun to plan. Melanie thought of the idea to ask people for sheets that we could have to use as walls this year instead of spending all the money on plastic. Every year we buy plastic for the walls and they get ruined so we have to buy new rolls each year. Well this year we are going to use old sheets, die them black, and put them together to form walls that last! We posted an ad on reno.craigslist.org and have already received donations! Halloween here we come!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Please note - Diabolic plan #847 is in no way related to plan #679

Over the weekend I started thinking about the other pooper scooper kids in Reno. I thought about how once our website redesign is complete and up it will be very clear what we doo, and how could we get people that search for pooper scoopers online to find us more easily. Thats when I hatched a plot to implement diabolic plan #847 today.

Diabolic Plan #847 -
-Search out any and all competition websites
-find website domain names that people may misspell that are available
-secure said domain names
-redirect said secure domain names to our website
-keep my nefarious plot on the DL until the monkeys are ready

Diabolic plan #847 was a success, once the new website is up the games begin anew!
Please note - Diabolic plan #847 is in no way related to plan #679 Although they are similar in nature, there were no people harmed and I still have both my eyebrows... besides that was totally an accident.

A special thanks goes out to my lovely wife... had she not reminded me this morning by putting plan #847 on the whiteboard, it would not have been completed with such a fierceness.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

No plan big or small can get me to throw away a burrito!

For the last 5 days I have been eating bean burritos that have been in the fridge all week. Tasty as they are I have a problem with one thing. My problem is that lettuce does NOT belong in a bean burrito, nor any other burrito!

I was mad when the first one had a single strip of lettuce in it. I let that go because after all they are making lots of food all at the same time. The second was the same... one single strip. Reheated lettuce in a burrito is nasty and that taste travels. By the time I was half way down the burrito I could taste the retched flavor of reheated slimy greens. Yes I still ate it. By now I am thinking a conspiracy is afoot. By burrito 4 I knew in my heart that someone at the bell was laughing maniacally! In fact all six bean burritos had one strip of lettuce in them. But I showed them... I ate every single one, down to the last nasty bite! No plan big or small can get me to throw away a burrito!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Da da da da da da da da da da da da...da da da da da..da da da da!


This summer is one to remember as so many great movies came out! We just got back from The Simpsons Movie and it was great! I did not go on opening night as I really hate lines to get into a movie so we went the next day during the afternoon. Plus the seats were a cheaper rate and scooper1 got some exposure. After leaving my wife and I agreed that we need to see it again to see all the little jokes we may have missed. And let me tell you there were plenty of hidden little things for the fans! If you enjoy the Simpsons you will enjoy this movie and yes, it was worth seeing in the theater!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Off to scoop some poop and do some pet sitting

Yes it's true I am headed off to scoop some poop, give a few estimates, and do some high quility pet sitting. I am going to sit the hell out of these dogs today!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I live to scoop another day!


I woke up this morning feeling great finally! Aside from my sides being sore and my glowing red neck (while I was sick I forgot to use sunscreen yesterday) I am feeling pretty good today. I'm ready to hit the piles running!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

It's sad when all you look forward to is coming home to spew

To answer the first question...Yes I did eat the HH from Tuesday. Who would I be if I didn't. The good news is it wasn't the food, the bad news is that it was the stomach flu.

With that said Wednesday was a pretty rough day. In the morning I woke up feeling worse but decided that I had to scoop today. I had all my customers from Tuesday and all of Wednesday backed up and I had the choice of waiting out the sickness and backing up all my Thursday customers as well, not doing some of my customers this week, or suck it up and cork it (literally).

I decided I couldn't wait it out and didn't want to leave my customers wading around in their backyards. Aside from the extra restroom stops the day went ok, although when your stomach is turning it make picking up a steamer a bit more difficult. By 7 I was on my way home looking forward to praying to the porcelain god. As soon as I got home I announced my intentions, sent my wife off to pet sit, then did the deed.

I then sent my wife out to get some food to settle my stomach. Taco Bell was my choice... oops gotta run!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Out of nowhere, Sick like a dog.

I have no idea what happened this morning. It was like every other morning, I got up started checking the computer for new jobs today, then BAM! Out both ends. For hours now, all I do is wake up, hit the bathroom, then back to bed. It's either a bug or something I ate last night. I'm not completely sure it was something I ate as my stomach tends to be fine with things that have passed their prime. For example last week I ate a hard boiled egg that had been in our fridge for over a month. I took one bite and realized it was probably not good. I ate the second half just to be sure. Did anything happen? Nope, my stomach just gave me a "got another?" sound and moved on.

Now last night my wife and I ate two separate dinners. Thinking it's not the food, I told her that she could have my gourmet cuisine for lunch. She normally doesn't like hamburger helper nor when its made with turkey meat, but I figured I would offer as apparently I would not be eating. She did not take the bait...DAMN! So anyone in the area I have some free lunch for you, come and get it! Never mind, I haven't eaten all day and am hungry, it's mine now losers!

Needless to say I did not go pooper scoop today's customers. Although if they each offered up the use of their restrooms I could have probably made it. Well except for the ride home. Oh well!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Pray to me you little shit

I walk in the door and you greet me by sitting up and holding your paws out to me. You know what you have done... thats why you pander to me this way. I let you outside and thats when I see what you have left me.... Really? From what I am looking at in the kitchen I am going to guess that if you fart you turn around to see where it came from. Something you ate last night didn't sit right. I know you long for your childhood as you are no longer a puppy, but spin art? I guess you weren't quite sure why you had the squirts (or streams) but I don't think it was necessary to chase your tail while you went. While I cleaned the entire circle I did have to stop and wonder exactly how it is that a 2 foot tall dog can get a circle to go up nearly 4 feet of the wall. You must have been dizzy.

I loath you, see you tomorrow.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Did somebody step in something?

We just got back from a pet art show. I thought it was going to be a total bust and thats why we did not have a booth there. D'oh! is all I have to say about that. Tons of people with dogs were there. As we walked around watching ever so carefully for land mines, we got to see someone giving out doggie massages. Thats right, for the same price as a human you could get fido massaged. I only have one question for that...

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Pet sitting and Paws in the Park have put my game on hold

My wife started reading a new book that just came out, leaving me with time to play Wii. Thats the plan for the weekend, minus some pet sitting and a local pet event.

Friday, July 20, 2007

It's time to get this shit started!

This will probably be a mesh of things that go on in the world of scooping and my life in general, so here goes! I have been scooping for our business for about a year and a half now and I have come to realize that my loving wife no longer wants to hear about "how big it was" or yet another story of a "fresh steamer", in fact I can pretty much tell that once I start talking about "how many bags this one house took to clean it up" she's already checked out. So now I turn to you... Let's talk Shit!