The henchman you sent to kill me failed, so sorry!

He is currently tied up in the back of Scooper1 and will remain there until I get the required information. Your plot to assassinate me and take over my region has failed, I will be coming for you soon. I have attained that his name is Pier' and he is well versed in the are of "bead tossing." Although I am not sure what that pertains to I will foil your next attempt with some "bead tossing" of my own.

Whoever though it would be funny needs to stop!

Diabolical plan #1863 was not a success like previously stated. Somehow someone learned of my plans and decided it would be funny to replace the wonderflonium with frozen pet waste. After taking the contents out and placing them in my freeze ray much to my disgust, the freeze ray did not start working but smoking. Now my entire layer smells of burnt plastic wires, and crap.

I will have my revenge!

On a side note applications are coming in but the candidates as of so far have not impressed me. Remember, evilinsideofme@gmail.com is the only place to apply, please stop trying to break into my layer for an interview, that is all.

Again, I will have my revenge!

Ummm

Diabolic plan #1863 was "technically" a success...

The short end of it is I was able to breach the facility in Kansas. I did find a case that should have been holding the wonderflonium that I was after. I was able to make my escape without being spotted... well I was seen a few times, but not captured. Once I have deduced what type of materials were in the case I will update you all. Unfortunitly I do not believe that the precious wonderflonium was in the case.

Grooming an Evil mascot takes time... not thievery!

I have for six years now been grooming Pugzilla to be a mascot to evil, but I have been betrayed by genetics. He recently had to have his eye removed because of glaucoma which got the attention of Pilates Pirate. PP has now taken an interest in recruiting Pugzilla because of his now pirate pug status and his name begins with a P. I have been planning Pugzilla's path and just because he could be known as PPP I plan on filing a grievance with the league. Until PP is dealt with I am putting Pugzilla on lockdown.

Diabolic plan #1863 has commenced

I was able to plant the Subconscinabler last month at the house of an unknowing accomplice. After having the replace the batteries twice I was finally able to get it synced to his brainwaves and the plan has begun. I have convinced my new rube to have me come along on a road trip to Kansas. Which as you all know that is where they keep all the wonderflonium supplies (thanks to Dr. Horrible and the events leading to the death of Captin Hammers Girlfriend.) So in order to get my own Freeze Ray working I needed to take a trip there unnoticed. This opportunity has presented itself and although it is a bit early I am on my way to steal the Wonderflonium with my unknowing accomplice. We will be using his vehicle so I will not have to drive Scooper1 which as you all know an evil vehicles tend to stand out. I will not be able to update this plan in action as I will need to keep everything on the DL. Once I have the Wonderflonium I will be able to launch diabolic plans 143, 16, 1992, and 971. Stay tuned.

Also I will be holding interviews in Colorado at 2:47am for those of you who have emailed thus far.

Now accepting applications from the Henchman's union

I have realized that to accomplish Diabolic plans number 326, 851, 4268, and 4 I will need a henchman to complete some small tasks.
Requirements are as follows:
You must have a bad sense of smell (as too many have backed out once I have unleashed one of my secret tools)
Your disposablity level must rate a 7.2 or higher
You must have driving experience with evil vehicles
You must have the ability to fling poo like a spider monkey - or equivalent to a mental patient
Your henchman hours must meet or exceed 18.8 units
Those with experience with small rakes and dustpans will be considered first

Send correspondence through the union or email your application to EvilInsideOfMe@gmail.com

The Scooper VS Dr. Horrible's acceptance into the Evil League of Evil

I have a problem and now I can no longer keep my plans surreptitious. Dr. Horrible has ruined my plans of joining the Evil League of Evil covertly. By outright blogging of his plans to join the League, and succeeding, it has made it near impossible for anyone else trying to join to not have a blog or some sort of public forum for Bad Horse and the others to keep track of evil doings. Although I have in the past posted some of my different diabolical plans I had not planned to reveal the true master plan. It just feels like I am pandering to Bad Horse but if that's what it takes, so it must be.Dr. Horrible (for those of you red tribal people in the amazon) has been trying for years to get into the Evil League of Evil. He had always been thwarted by Captain Hammer (corporate Tool.) He had his Evil sing along blog online at drhorrible.com but has recently taken it down and posted it on iTunes. The Evil League of Evil wanted to bring in supplemental income with one of their "legitimate" businesses. I don't blame them, as I have watched it over and over again to learn what I need to do to be accepted into the League. Let me be clear that I will not do a "sing along" type of evil format, but I will start accepting emails and posting more of my plans.

So let this (and the numerous applications I have sent in) be my official notice to the Evil League of Evil,
Bad Horse,
Snake Bite,
Fury Leika,
Dead Bowie,
Tie-Die,
Fake Thomas Jefferson,
Professor Normal,
and of course Dr. Horrible,
I "The Scooper" will join the Evil League of Evil and nothing can stop me! Let the games begin.

Super Mario Galaxy continues to rule me

I received Super Mario galaxy for the Wii last year at Christmas and had played it a total of 5 minutes until about a week ago. It's not that I didn't like the game I just got busy and hadn't really played to many one player games as the Wii is very fun with more people.

That is until last week or so when I decided to put the game on notice that I was coming for it. Had I known the level of involvement I may not have made such a bold challenge but alas here I am. The game is very addictive and I can see why it is one of the top 10 games of all time for the Wii. I have been running up and down and all around as this game is not just played on a flat playing field but on small planets that you run around or asteroids that you jump from one to another. It has come to the point that on Melanie's birthday I asked her if she wanted to watch me play... how 80's of me!

There are plenty of more updates and by far more interesting but at the moment this consumes me.

Totally lazy to the max! Many stories to update....

I have been overly lazy and have not been updating this for all my loyal viewer. I will update the following stories as well as more...

The Scooper in : Kidney Trouble
The Scooper VS The Radio Control Association in Fernley
The Scooper in : Taking care of business - AKA The wife
The Scooper VS The Fernley Farmers Market
Rock Band Shenanigans
The Scooper VS too much Meat
And many more

Why not start right now you ask? I have to go clean up a yard that has a dog that I like to call has the Mississippi Mile pooper (long lines of drippy gooey poo) as the bush pooper (full reverse complete with warning beeps only to lay the load within the center of the bush.) Both are worthy adversaries and must be met with the stern force of the SCOOPER!

The Scooper VS Spell Check

Spell check is the greatest thing invented since the adult diaper. Like the diaper, spell check makes it so that you don't get embarrassed, look like an idiot, and help keep up the appearance that you are in control. This is not the problem I have with spell check... it's the fact that when I misspell a word, I can just right click on the word to see a list of the right one and pick it. Because the convenience of this act is used so often I start to correct words quickly, and thats where the real problem lies. Within that "right click" set of options is also an option to add a word to the dictionary. It's great when you always use the word craptacular and you are tired of the condescending red line mocking your incorrect spelling and judging you, you just click "add to dictionary." Great right? Why am I whining like a baby you ask? Well say you are going along and as you go to correct a word that you misspelled twice in a row, you start moving quick to correct the second word and you click add to dictionary (which is right by the correct spelling) leaving you with a new misspelling in your computers dictionary. Well that is what I've done twice now... twice I have added a misspelled word to our dictionary (words I love to misspell) and I can't find how to fix it. I have tried search the help files, online helps, online forums... and nothing. Worst of all I can't remember those two words anymore. Damn comepudder!

I've got Gas... can you smell it?

Melanie and I have always wants to have a gas range. Recently we started talking about it again so I decided to see if we even had lines hooked up to get a gas oven in the first pace. Come to find out indeed we do. Then we looked up how much gas ranges cost...game over. As all one of you readers know I am addicted to reno.craigslist.com. So I checked there and there was only one used on and it looked like crap so no deal there. Well on Saturday I was doing my usual search of everything in Fernley (I do this because if I find a great deal its the fastest place I can get to) and low and behold, theres a perfect oven for sale... and just $75! It's the same brand as the rest of our appliances and a better model than our glass top electric range! Sneaky style, I make the purchase (after talking them down to $60) and get it installed without telling Melanie. She came home and was shocked... she thought I had gone out and bought a new stove and was pissed until I told her that the total cost including parts was just $75! She's one happy camper!

Now in classic Justin style I now had an extra stove that needed to be gotten rid of and I had just the way. Post it on CL, for double what I just paid. I was willing to be talked down... all the way to $75 but that wasn't to be. No, I was only to sell it within a day and for the full asking price.

That reminds me of someone....

Whats your sign baby?

The time once again has come where the snow has melted and people walk into their backyards and say "shit!" And unless they know of our greatness they can't hire us, so off to my friendly neighborhood sign shop. eternalimagesignanddesign.com Sign me up!

Woot the hell?

For the past month or two Melanie has been telling me about all these websites she visits daily. Just a couple weeks ago we were looking to buy a new smaller video camera (wait for it... there's a point) so she wakes me up at 7 am to tell me how one of the websites she visits has a great deal on one. I get up and still half a sleep I wonder to the computer room and check out "the deal." I saw that is was a refurbished unit (I know she will not let me buy refurbished anything) and that was the end of that... or so I thought. Now we all know that I am a craigslist junkie and always lookin out for the deal, and thats were my new problem stems from. Although the camera was not that great of a deal, I got hooked on woot! It's a website where they have a deal on something, anything, and they also have limited numbers. Within a couple days I had purchased a gps navigation unit for $100, and can't help but check the deals everyday. One night it was so bad that I intentionally stayed up till midnight to see what the next deal was. Why stay up no one asks? Well there have been several mornings that I have got up and the deal sold out. Damn you woot.com! Now I have two places to keep a watch out for great deals.

Oh this looks AWESOME!

Your mom listens to the Radio

For all one of you who read my blog, you will know that I love to listen to a morning radio station called "Rob Arnie & Dawn." Well just last week they started their members only site. Excited because they would now be posting their entire show I grabbed my members only jacket, credit card and ran to the computer. $50 bucks later I was in like sin! Awesome! Uncensored shows are so much more entertaining. Best of all I have been wanting to write into the show but didn't really want to take the time to write in and not get an answer... well best of all they say they guarantee to answer all of members questions.... hmmm what to write about... Check it out here... http://members.robarnieanddawn.com/

When I do finally post a question I will post the answer here... maybe.

The Scooper VS MEME

My sister in law and my wife have both "tagged" me with something called meme.
The rules for this meme are: (1) Link to the person that tagged you. (2) Post the rules on your blog. (3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (4) Tag six people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Since I feel that this is pointless and a waste of time I will not be participating in "meme." Instead I will list out the six reasons why I am refusing to do this. I will then share it with six other people in hopes of stopping this vicious chain.

1. Peer pressure. If I was going to give in to such types of pressure I would have done so back when I was in school. I am a big boy now and can resist the brutal onslaught of emails trying to make me divulge my personal information.

2. Spam. These emails and requests are nothing more than spam chain letters used for information gathering efforts initiated by the others. In terms of spam these emails and requests register over a 52% margin of annoyance.... thus leading us back to #1.

3. Invasion of Privacy. Thats right, all these questions lead to personal information that everyone in the world can use to try and steal your identity. For example, if I were to say that one quirky thing about me is that if I could I would wear a brand new pair of socks every day for life, someone could come along and try and phish me in with the lure of unlimited free socks for life if I just fill out the form. Harmless you say??? Unlimited socks sound great right??? What if I were to tell you that in the form you just filled out to get those "socks" you posted your ssn, pin number, mothers maiden name, eye color, blood type, where you hide the key to your house and when you are going to be on vacation, and favorite type of gumball..... what would you do then??? They would take it all from you leaving you without new socks and worst of all eating gumballs that were NOT your favorite flavor! Scary enough?

4. I'm funnier than youism. Every time one of these types of "surveys" comes out everyone tries to be the funniest. Not because they have to be the center of attention, or "it's" what they are know for. It's because these surveys are so boring and retarded. Who wants to read if I want a tattoo or not? I mean we all I know I want one... those little guys crack me up. But who cares? Look if you were my friend (or family) and you didn't already know that I like to sneak off to the farm down the street at night and spank the pigs... why should I have to think of a funny way of telling you, you obviously don't care enough about me to ask... why do I have to be the clown to get your attention? But I digress, everyone tries to one up each other to be the favorite... I, for one, am disgusted with the whole process and will not stoop down to that level just to be noticed.

5. Mental Monkeys. These little guys are put hard to work in my brain trying to come up with suitable answers for surveys like these. As soon as the request comes in for all this personal information, down go the bananas and out come the typewriters. Those little monkeys in my brain have to work over time to try and come up with "cheddar is better" and answers like that, all the while their potassium levels are dropping. Poor monkeys, why would you subject them to such perils?

6. Time Burglars. This one is worst of all. If you have gone through all these steps and figure the lime gumball tastes ok, and you are just sheep following the sharks, then you have to face the time burglars. These types of questioners don't just take five minutes to fill out. You end up working the mental monkeys overtime, for days, toiling over every last question. You miss meals, work, the bathroom, and for what?, just so your friends can get a laugh or worse, get to know you better. There's no way I will ever waste the time again for such things as "meme" I have so many other things better to do than to post any response to forceful and intrusive emails and requests, and will not bow down to the pressure.

Armchair Candy

I'll miss you most of all. Tomorrow you go to the great land of craigslist... off to a new home to create new memory's. Armchair Candy you have always been right there beside me, C'est la vie my friend.

RAM this into Gig that

It seems like no matter how much crap I pick up I still end up working on computers. The whole reason I started flippin shit was because I was tired of RAM this into Gig that. I now have 3 computers at home that I am working on... CRAP!

The Scooper VS Dell Forums and Jerry/c3po5

My friend has a problem with his laptop. One day it worked the next it didn't. He brought it to me to take a look at and thats where it all went downhill. I did all the normal checks and finally came to the conclusion that I needed help from Dell... but without paying up the ass. So after searching all the dell forums finding the exact error code and being disgusted with how little information people post I decided to post my problem and be very clear by posting everything wrong and the steps I tried already.

I have come to realize that I hate Dell forums. Why? Because all I got was a person who feels he is the guru of all that computes and kept posting nonsense. I would post specifically that the hard drive was not bad, he would email me that it was. When I would post that I tested the drive two other places and had tested two other drives in the laptop he would reply back saying the same thing. He couldn't spell and started putting lines in all caps, so when a moderator finally got involved the guy started saying there was a bug in the software on the forums and he wasn't really trying to be an asshole. Then they both started posting back and forth on how they would try and find someone to fix the bug... completely ignoring my problem. Scumbags!

Updates comming SorS on many great happenings....well...

I will be updating the post with many things Saturday or Sunday. Meme, Storage unit auctions, name spelling, Dell forum boards, and of course the tale of the great dane poo.

Off to Costco!

Do you know how to spell your name?

While headed to the boring storage unit auction my friend Barney babbled on about this and that. I didn't pay attention to most of what he was saying as it all had to do with his unemployment, his new bank account, and trying to pay bills online. So as he goes on and on he finally gets to a part that peaks my amusement. He says that he keeps getting denied for paying a bill because someone who was putting his name in the system had misspelled his name. I guess as he called them to get it correct he started to question the spelling of his name. He got off the phone with them without correcting the problem because at this point in the story he told me that "I have to check my birth certificate because I thought I spelled it 'ery' not 'rey' hmmm" At this point I started to laugh and had him repeat the whole story because I was only half listening. Once he got back to the point in the story where he said he was going to have to find his birth certificate I told him that to get his license he would have had to provide that so he could just check that. He just turned 38, maybe that has something to do with it, although he swears that it was 'ery'. His real name is Jeffrey for the record.

Storage Units.... He he he I said unit...

Every so often I like to goto storage unit auctions. For those of you who don't know or haven't been it's just like it sounds. They auction off storage units that people have not paid for or fell behind on rent. They have every opportunity to pay for them, but this is about me.

I started off going to these looking to find some furniture or something cool and found that it is a lot of fun... for me. There are of course some dirty guys there that make their livings off of buying these and they are usually the one that outbid me. I am however the one who sits there and cracks jokes the whole time... maybe getting a chuckle from everyone but mostly for my entertainment. For that reason I like to go with someone I know... this way I don't end up missing locked in a empty unit. Now it's always a gamble to bid on a unit because you can only look in and cannot go poking around so aside from what is directly in sight you never know what you'll get. I have bid and won once and although I threw away about half of what was in there I was able to sell a few items and make my money back as well as end up with a shotgun, tools, metal cabinet, and a bunch of other stuff I will end up using for Halloween.

There are tons of these auctions all the time, and if I had the patience to check all the news papers I would probably end up going to way more... instead I come across a stray email or mailing or craigslist ad and decide to call Scott the night before or even that morning and we go. This time was no different, I found out about it the day before asked Scott and decided I would go. Scott had to back out first thing in the morning so I decided to go wake up my friend Barney last minute and drag him with me. We got there just 5 minutes before it started and Scott was able to make it there with us and we all stood around cracking jokes... mostly about each other.

Now this auctioneer usually starts the bidding pretty high so I didn't have any high hopes for anything..... Oh my god I just realized this story has no end nor anything interesting about it. I started this to tell a different story entirely....Lame story short... I didn't buy any units, only bid on one, and it was pretty boring. Game over.

The Scooper VS A Clean Car

For weeks now scooper1 has needed to be washed. Every time I would think about washing it, the snow would come or I knew I would be driving on a dirt road that was muddy. Well the time came last week and although I wasn't feeling well I broke down and washed it. Feeling that I had done a good job and Scooper1 was looking shiny again I dreaded over the news that once again a storm had come in and I would be driving in snow tomorrow. Scooper1 is once again dirty and they say there are no storms on the horizon so I may just wash it this week. So to add insult to my dirtiness my friend Barney came over to hang out for a bit and saw how dirty Scooper1 was. After I told him of how it was clean and got dirty the next day he then proceeded to tell me how he washes his car 2 to 3 times a week and I should do the same. I decided not to point out that he has no job and I do... I don't have the free time to wash my car all the time... damn job keepin my car dirty!

Prison guards and the Super Bowl

How much of a coincidence is this? I have now met 3 separate people here in Fernley who just happen to work at the High Desert Prison in Susanville. Whats so strange about that you ask? Well my cousin happens to be incarcerated there and during the super bowl party I went to the topic came up and low and behold but the new guy I met actually knows my cousin! Pretty crazy if I do say so myself! He said he would say hi for me which is pretty cool since I di write to my cousin every so often. It's nice to send out a personal "hello." Although I guess if I just sent out the form to be admitted to go visit him that would be better... Well thats on it's way so this will have to do for now.

Yo what up!

The Scooper VS the Fernley Floods

Last month tragedy struck Fernley in the form of a levee breaking and flooding thousands of homes. My quarrel was not with the flood waters but with the silt and mud left behind at my customers houses. Luckily everyone we know and all of our customers houses were safe but it was very close, in fact within inches for a few houses, but everyone was fine. That fine silt and mud left behind has in fact on more than one occasion made my shoes into platforms. I end up standing so tall that I have to get int o the car through the sun roof. And try as I might but the damn stuff just wont scrape off my shoes. I am continually doing the moon walk on the street just trying to get a few inches off. Even now, weeks later, the grass looks fine but as soon as I begin to walk its like being on a stair step machine. I'm going to have to get a longer rake.

AAAAAHHHHHHH Yeah! I'm back baby!

Every weekend there was something to do and during the week it was trying to figure out what houses didn't have that much snow. Anyways I'm back baby! The Christmas lights have just been taken down, Halloween items have been put away, and the snow has begun to melt.

So many things have been going on that I should have been updating this but pure laziness kept the site from seeing a new post for months. It can't be that I was too busy during the week because for the past 3 weeks half the houses had too much snow to pooper scoop them. In fact it seemed like at the beginning of the week the night before it would snow like crazy wherever I was supposed to be. Then the snow wouldn't melt and the next week new snow would pile on top of that layer. One of my customers back yard, has had so little sunlight and so much snow that the entire yard is 4 inches of ice. It's pretty crazy when you have to bring a heavy metal shovel to chip that shit away.

Oh and I was sick for the past 2 weeks and that was hell. I still only have a partial voice and get winded moving around too much. WAH! Time to get to work!